I’ve had a whole buncha vanilla latte today so my brain is working again. Now is a perfect time for me to make my first “official” entry in this new blog.

Everyone asks how I’m doing and they get the usual answer: “I’m fine”. While I am “fine” on a shallow level, the term does not touch my true psychological, physical, and spiritual states. I have good and bad days and even good and bad hours and minutes through out the day. Sometimes I have days where I drift in a mental fog, yet I am able to appear as a perfectly-functioning person. This is a big step considering I haven’t able to mask my insanity for most of my life.

A lot of people have asked about my grandma’s health and when they have, I’m not sure how to respond. She has good and bad days, just like any other person with a major illness. Her body hurts nearly all the time and the doctor has prescribed liquid Morphine to ease the pain. Tomorrow, her body will be marked for radiation treatments. This means that the doctors will decide what areas of her body they will apply the treatments and they will mark those areas. Since the cancer is in her throat only (let’s hope that is truly the case), the doctors will most likely decided to apply the treatment to her chest and throat area. She will have treatments every day for the next 4 weeks.

My grandma is taking everything with a lot of grace, dignity, and optimism. She is a woman of faith and she is not afraid of dying, but she believes in the possibility of a full recovery. The rest of the family is handling this situation much better than I expected, my mom especially. She is hurting, but she isn’t letting it take over her life. I am so proud of her, my aunts, and grandma for their strength.

Ok, enough with the depressing stuff. I am trying to decide what exactly I am going to do with this blog? Should I post about everyday life? Should I save it for writing prompts? Should I post about emotions and feelings? Loads of possibilities….

Tags: family, life